The Guardian

President Habibie has appointed an all-female task force to investigate the rapes of Chinese women during the May riots. Human rights groups have detailed at least 168 cases and 20 deaths. This is one woman's story.

My name is Vivian and I am 18 years old. I have a little sister and brother, and we live in what is supposed to be a "secure" apartment. At 9.15am on May 14, a huge crowd had gathered outside. They screamed: "Let's butcher the Chinese! Let's eat pigs! Let's have a party!"

We live on the seventh floor and we got a call from a family on the third floor, saying the crowd had reached the second floor. We were all very frightened. We prayed and then we left our room and went upstairs to the top floor, as it was impossible to go down and escape. We got to the 15th floor and were surprised because some of the crowd were coming out of the elevators. We hurried into our friends' room and locked the door tightly.

We heard the crowd knock at the other rooms loudly and there were screams from women and girls. Our room was filled with fear. We realised they would come to us, so we spread throughout the room, hiding in the corners. We could hear girls of 10 or 12 years old screaming: "Mommy, mommy ... mom ... mom ... It hurts." I didn't know then that these little girls were being raped.

After about half an hour, the noise diminished and we plucked up the courage to go out. The scene was indescribable. A lot of people, some of them young girls, were lying on the floor. "Oh my God, what has happened?" Seeing all of this, we cried and screamed and my little sister Fenny hugged our father hysterically.

With our friends, a newly wed couple, we started going downstairs. Reaching the 10th floor, we heard a scream for help. The scream was very clear and we decided to go down. But as we turned, we saw a lot of people. I saw a woman in her twenties being raped by four men. She tried to fight back but she was held down tightly.

Realising the danger, we ran as hard as we could. But the mob caught Fenny. We tried to rescue her, but couldn't do anything. There were about 60 of them. They tied us up with ripped sheets - myself, my father, my mother, Fenny, my brother Doni, Uncle Dodi and my Aunt Vera. They led us to a room. Uncle Dodi asked what they wanted, but they did not reply. They looked evil and savage.

One of them grabbed Fenny roughly and dragged her to a sofa.

I knew she was in great danger and I screamed but one of the mob slapped me in the face. My father, who also screamed, was hit with a piece of wood and he fainted. My mother had fainted when Fenny was dragged to the sofa. I could only pray.

Uncle Dodi kept trying to stop them by offering money. His efforts were fruitless. In the end, five people raped Fenny. Before they raped her, they said: "Allahu Akbar" [an Islamic phrase in Arabic meaning "God is great"]. They were ferocious and brutal.

Not long after, nine men came to the room and grabbed me and my Aunt Vera. I passed out and everything went blank. I became conscious at around 5 or 6pm. My head hurt and I realised I had no clothes on. I cried and saw my family were still there. My father was hugging my mother and Doni. I also saw Uncle Dodi lying on the floor and Aunt Vera was crying over his body. I fainted again.

The next day I was in the Pluit hospital. I asked: "Mom, why Fenny? Mom?" I felt a stinging pain as I said these words. My cheeks were swollen. My mother cried again and couldn't speak, while my father, holding back his tears, managed to smile at me.

After four days' treatment, my condition improved. With a sad look, my father told me what had happened. After I fainted, seven people raped me. Repeatedly.

Then my father said: "Vivian, Fenny is gone." I was confused and cried out: "Why, Dad?" My father couldn't answer. He told me to rest and went out of the room. I cried over and over again, feeling my life had no meaning any more.

A week ago, after I was released from the hospital, I was told. When Fenny was raped, she kept on fighting and so she was repeatedly slapped by her rapists. The last time she fought, Fenny spat at one of them. Offended, he grabbed a knife and stabbed Fenny in the stomach over and over again. She died with blood all over her body.

My father told me Uncle Dodi met the same fate, watched by Aunt Vera, who was also raped. "God, why should all of this happen? Where are you, God? Are you still alive?"